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Adultery: The Heart of the Matter (Sex and sin)

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Adultery is always at the heart of every matter that concerns Sex and Sin. Some days ago, pictures of Mikel Obi’s twins started Trending online. These pictures were lovely. Quite a lot of my religious friends share them.

It has little bearing that the kids are born out of wedlock. Had it been a gay occurrence, the social media would have been abuzz with the world ending in 5 days. Sex outside marriage is permissible sin in Nigeria and many places. God smiles on that. Or does he?

A friend of mine put a post speaking about the need for sex clinics in Nigeria based on what she views on TLC. Nigerians can joke about sex, admonish it but not discuss it. Nigerian couples do not discuss sexual satisfaction. It is on the taboo list. They cannot even discuss with their kids. I was once treated to a debacle of a couple on honeymoon who were apparently both virgins and the number of days it took them to consummate the marriage. A gap in counseling perhaps?

Why is Adultery High?

Yet you read on the number of divorces from sexual frustrationadltary is bad. On the post on sex clinics, I could not imagine men discussing their problems in bed with a stranger. The Nigerian man is an expert in bed. All men boast of their sexual prowess. Few women validate that claim here.

My position was that men are not adulterous because they are unsatisfied sexually. Someone then asked why do men stray? Our very respected Father in law Tola Adeniyi Snr wrote a piece ago. Here is the link for those that are yet to read it: The Agony of Monogamy. It is a very insightful piece. It does not answer the why though.

Adultery is permissible in Nigeria. No one really frowns at it. Many mothers in law will hush their married daughters if she makes a lot of noise on it. Questions such as “Is he maltreating you? Has he stopped being responsible” and then a story of how the mother lived through years of adultery with the father of the daughter. So she learns to live with it and prays that it is just a fling that does not lead to her displacement in the house.

So my questions are why do men stray? Why do women? Why are we closed up about frank Adultery and sexual discussions in Nigeria? And why is one sin permissible by society and some of such scale that it would lead to the end of society? Anyone bold enough to say why or guess since I am certain I have no friend that has ever strayed?

Written by Ademola H Adigun
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