She has written in to ask for help and advise about the father of her three sons. As at the time they met (which is about years ago)-he was a struggling young man, who desired to have her as a wife. And because they are from different ethnic groups, the cost of the marriage rites that her people presented to him were beyond his capacity.
So they resolved to be living as man and woman(while putting their incomes together for the rites) until they are ready…this was against her LATE father’s advice-who saw through the man.
She is the eldest child of her parents. Ten years down the line and after three children(all boys) for her husband, all she gets from him whenever she mentions the issue of his performing some traditional rites on her head is GIVE ME SOME TIME.
Now the problem is that another lady has taken in for her husband. The husband has told her that the lady insists she won’t terminate the pregnancy and she is also moving in with them as a second wife.
Her husband said he cannot stop the lady from moving in with them because that might make him incur the wrath of the lady’s father-who is a high chief in their place and also his benefactor…the man has been responsible for the contracts that comes his way.
However, her husband has given her the option of staying back. He claims that the new development will not affect her position in the house.
She said that she feels suicidal right now. She feels used because this was the same thing that her father warned her against- before his death. She wonders where she is going to start from…the economic situation of things back home is not encouraging either and her sons are still very young.
Knowing her husband, if she leaves with her sons…he will never bother about their welfare again. And staying back while his new woman moves in, will depress her.
She has asked the Parliament to look into this matter and advise her. She is 38 years old and an Admin Assistant-at a Local Government Council.
Post by Chukwuneta Oby